Sunday, March 28, 2010

Fights during divorce

 Fighting over the Pot and Pans.  Don’t let yourself get pulled into a costly argument over “the pots and pans." Some things will be important now and in the future, some things won’t. Keep reminding yourself that the more important question is: Can I buy another one of these at Target? (or on Craig's List, but you get the idea.)  Will losing this thing have long term consequences? In my earlier days of practice, I hadn't handled many cases yet, and had never been divorced myself. As a result, I think I was sort of surprised at how far off on tangents one can get.  Especially when emotions are running high.  or low.  You get my drift.

Anyway, in this one case, my client REALLY wanted some of the camping gear, and especially a Coleman cooler.  I mean REALLY wanted it.  He'd compromised on spousal support, but by gum, he was determined to get that cooler. Okay, there were other items on the list, but none he felt quite as passionately about.  He and I had a series of conversations about his list, and about that cooler, before it dawned on me that he could have replace not only the cooler, but maybe several items- with brand NEW stuff - for the cost of the litigation. From that case one, I was armed with the education that I suppose only experience can give: to do my best to keep the client focused on what - and who- really matter most.  We talk about priorities from day one these days, and revisit the subject with a client as often as needed to stay on point, and not waste valuable time and attention on, well, stuff that is just that: stuff.
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